Top 15: Tooting Their Horns

As we pack our bags for our 1st Monday Night Football run in America’s finest city, a few observations on the college football weekend.
With an ode to Gil Scott Heron, we beg your pardon OU. Seriously, where did all of that come from?
OU 63, Short Horns 21.
Needless to say, the Sooners slapped the taste out of Texas’ mouth and that wasn’t the only surprise of the college football weekend. But we always get a kick when OU hangs half a 100 (plus 13) on Texas and Barry buys rounds.
Still, no one got pounded for more rounds than Geno Smith and West Virginia and had their national championship hopes crushed. It was especially stunning coming from a Texas Tech squad that OU hammered the week before. Go figure.
With that said, another round of our wacky top 15. Read ‘em and leap.
1. Alabama (6-0): Still time for Missouri, the Tide’s latest victim, to cancel those big SEC checks and write 1 to the Big Ten.
2. Oregon (6-0): Ducks played bye this weekend, but visit Arizona State in a Thursday night tilt on ESPN. Desert storm by the Sun Devils? Uh, no.
3. Notre Dame (6-0): Irish awarded a parting gift against Stanford, but replacement refs avenge Matt Leinart pushing Reggie Bush into the end zone in another controversial TD involving ND. Seriously, you think you’re going to get that call in South Bend?
4. Florida (6-0): Asleep at the wheel against Vanderbilt for much of the contest because South Carolina is on the brain.
5. Kansas State (6-0): ‘Cats slip past a competitive Iowa State bunch, but now face an angry West Virginia crew Saturday. Good luck with that.
6. Ohio State (7-0): Those Urban renewal victory speeches are already getting stale. Indiana in our best Allen Iverson imitation?
7. Oregon State (6-0): Sleeper hold? We’re still wrestling with that.
8. Oklahoma (5-1): Who were those guys in Dallas? Reminded us of Mittens punking Obama in that forgettable debate. So does St(oops) turn Joe Biden in Morgantown on Nov. 17 or does Iowa State put him in a sleeper hold Saturday?
9. USC (5-1): We’ll have what Lane is smoking (see below).
10. LSU (6-1): We know Les Miles eats grass, but he’s surely smoking it too to chill from this gauntlet: A&M, a week off, ‘Bama and Mississippi State. And in a toast to the Honey Badger, we indulged in a taste of the Honey Jack Daniels Saturday night. Good stuff Maynard, in our best Big Boley imitation.
11. West Virginia (5-1): We pat you on the ass and then you embarrass us? Must have been something in the water in Lubbock, no? Thanks for coming. Your consolation prizes for the national championship are waiting.
12. South Carolina (6-1): Speaking of reading of its clips…
13. Clemson (5-1): Did we mention Brent Venables was the defensive coordinator? Didn’t think so.
14. Florida State: Hurricane warnings used to create some gusts, but ‘Noles should have no trouble blowing through Miami.
15. Georgia (5-1): Welcome back, but don’t get too comfortable because Florida, which owns you, is on deck in 2 weeks.