A tip of the cap to my late Uncle Mo. Besides missing him dearly, I can still hear him calling me or someone else the above with a few choice descriptions mixed in.
My kids always laugh when I say the best thing about Orange County is seeing it in my rearview mirror. Despite being a former resident, and despite the OC being the place of birth of my 3 wonderful kids, they understand why I have some hard feelings for the place. But that’s a conversation for a raining day. I’ve got a better story.
Thankfully, I live in the LBC. Been here about 13 years or so since moving from Orange County. Despite my beautiful surroundings, my day didn’t start off as I would have liked. But after a 15-minute pity party I occasionally hold before moving on and telling myself “sucking it up, asshole,” I falsely believed things would pick up.
Out of the blue, I get an email from Amber Broeckel, from some outfit called Red Sky Public Relations, asking if I’d like an “all-access pass” to the upcoming DIRECTV Classic hoop tournament this month in Anaheim, where Cal, Drake, Drexel, Georgia Tech, Pacific, Rice, Saint Mary’s and Xavier will be playing Nov. 22, 23 and 25. I’ve seen better teams at the Boley High gym. But this was a freebe. Another chance to get out of the house.
Amber also said she would throw in some tickets to raffle off to some of our lucky readers. That’s when I started reading it twice, 3 times, thinking what’s the catch here. But it was so genuine. Or so it seemed.
Great, where do I sign? And what made you so desperate to reach out to us?
“We have a team of researchers that work on behalf of ESPN who identify influential sports bloggers, and that is how we found you,” she wrote.
Oh. Wait til I tell Player Hobe.
An hour later she changed her tune.
“Unfortunately after reviewing the rest of your blog more thoroughly, our executive team has decided that your brand is a bit more provocative than originally perceived. Due to our partnership with non-profits and K-8 schools in Orange County, we need to be cognoscente with who we promote the tournament to. I hope you understand why the DIRECTV Classic can’t be promoted on your blog.”
Provocative? What’s that mean? I’d bet Mo 3′s paycheck that executive team will turn out to be our most frequent visitors.
Besides, didn’t an hour before she told us we were among the “influential sports bloggers?” It had to be true. ESPN said so. So how could we go from “influential” to “provocative?” And what’s the difference between the 2?
Anyway, I might watch the DIRECTV Classic if I get bored around the Thanksgiving holidays since there are tons of better hoops playing around the dial. Like I said, I’ve seen better ball played in Boley.
And I guess by mentioning all of this nonsense, I’ve become 1 of the tournament’s biggest promoters. But we’re all about doing whatever it takes to benefit kids, particularly those spending Thanksgiving playing in Disneyland and suffering in the OC.
Just don’t tell Amber. She says it “can’t be promoted” on a scumbag blog like this. Probably be a sellout now.